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Angling Rumours & Snide remarks
Clive's angling Rumors and Snide remarks
Clive brings the other side of the opinion whether its true or not??????

Email me your Rumours & Remarks

Responding to message
A message sent to me defending the poor results from the Welsh team over the 18 years of Eric Humphries monopoly; regarding how the World Championships have evolved since my involvement where teams in the past may have sat on upturned buckets and how the rest of the world have caught up with fishing.
OK yes I agree: However England, Italy, France, Belgium and all our old adversaries still manage to stay in front!! So what happened to the Welsh Team??  Just to remind the new Welsh Squad, from 1981 to 1989 when I was involved with the Welsh Team; we won Team Bronze 1981 Individual Bronze 1985 Individual Silver 1986 Individual Gold 1987 Team Gold 1989 Gold & Individual Bronze 1989. (7 Medals within 8 years)


Hi Clive, You would not believe the difference in the trip without him ( or maybe you would ) For a start it was cheap, we sorted the hotel out early and we were only 10 mins from venue instead of the usual 1hr plus. We had good meetings which were not at midnight with everyone falling asleep as well. I know 9th isn't our best result and I would have liked it to be better, but it was nearly 20 places better than last year. We also had bank runners, which were a great help. ( never had 1 before ) It was a tough technical venue, which did fall into the hands of the French etc but we were in the mix with the likes of Italy and Hungary. In the past it's been like driving with the brakes on, so it's a good step in the wright direction. We were 11 places above Scotland, who have been beating us every match of late. Its down to the
anglers now to put the effort in, and try and win some medals now we have a better manager. I started all this in 1997 and this was the first time I've come back thinking it was a good well organised trip!

Fantastic Nigel Lets hope it gets better IM sure it wil!! l Eric Humphries got a lot to answer too. Clive

Upon drawing our Pegs in the Riverfest Match on Bridgenorth on the River Seven My travelling partner for the day Clive Roberts asked the local lads for directions. Being told its easy just up round the bend up the hill just follow the lads! We embarked on our way until we got caught in a traffic jam coming out of the supermarket car park. Seeing some cars with what we thought was fishing rods we followed. After going a wrong way the car pulled up at to go back the way we come from, winding the window down and Clive Roberts asked “Are you going to the golf Club” (Where our pegs were)  The driver said “yes just follow us we think we know where it is”. After a five mile drive we arrive only to find that the people we were following were in fact golfers. The wrong Golf Club!!!  Making our way back to the draw to find everyone had gone!! (See my Match News)


Whilst I was posting the results of a recent match report on facebook The Veterans match at Evesham Warwickshire Avon stating that someone lost a catfish from peg 19  Jonny Arthur the editor of DHP commented on my face book by saying And someone had a Mattabubu the other day... An avalanche of responses arrived   It's not a secret anymore

Responder:  Hi clive.its a little hush hush at the mo. I’ve known they have been in a while but also now had it confirmed,4 have come out between the bridge and ferry. biggest being 31lb and smallest going 5lb.this tells me that they are breeding too as a good mate of mine hooked and lost one on a boat up from workman gardens which was seen and estimated at 30-40 kilo. Now my reckoning is that’s between 65-90lb. also I’ve lost something there which wasn’t no carp or barbel, I’ve had shark over 100lb which didn’t take off like this thing. With the amount of pellet going in that area, not only in matches but in the nights, it’s an ideal feeding area for them. yesterday in those pegs. I think the cats were feeding in those pegs which pushed the other fish away but with it being so low and clear they have moved back to the deeper water. there were good weight coming out from behind the rugby club but all of a sudden its stopped throwing up weights. didnt andy loose a beast on the pole on 63 Sunday? He knows how to play a fish! Just my thoughts mate! Since this rumour I have been told by a reliable sources that some catfish was put in by a former fish keeper in about 5 years ago 

Fishing the Riverfest match on the Bristol Avon at Bath saw some old friends and faces from the past including Jan Porter and Dave Harrel. Talking to Jan with the same sharp wit while things don’t change drawing the notorious Bream hole peg 53. However when asked how he got on?  He quipped if they call that the Bream Hole then they should rename it the S!!!!! Hole. Still I loved his Camouflage Van!!    

After 20 years of being in charge of the Welsh Team and with no success in any team event; the new Welsh Fed has decided to drop Eric Humpries once and for all. Eric who as an angler was very limited in his ideas and success brought nothing to the table for Welsh Match fishing. Humpries enjoyed the trappings of free holidays abroad for him and family and held a close pack of friends who he selected for Welsh fishing duties. Speaking to welsh anglers generally who are glad to see the back of him. Dragging the welsh match fishing into a laughing stock and now hopefully we may see the emergence of a new fishing era, emulating the late 1980s when under John Mayers Wales won Gold and Bronze in the teams events plus 1 Gold 2 Silver and 3 Bronze individual events. And Home international victories.   

_______________________________________________                                            __                     ___

Home Internationals 2012 

What a disaster the Welsh team performance, (LAST) it seems that The Welsh Manager Eric Humpries has got it all wrong again, tactics, team selection in addition to being stuffed by England from the next peg doubling their total weight, but also by all the Home teams coming last,  watching the match on TV did expose all anglers abilities and it is fair to say the Welsh team are miles behind the more professional team anglers of England and dare I say some of the Scottish and Irish teams who beat Wales hands down.  

Will Wales ever get back to the glory days when Wales pushed England to the line and produced Individual champions and medals?  A Change from the top I expect!!


England  101.96 Kgs

Scotland  76.0   Kgs

Ireland  61.97  Kgs

Wales   50.71  Kgs

What Others Are saying!!!

What can i say, they have the wrong manager and now he should be sacked!!!!!! You would not get away with this crap in football, he would have been gone a long time ago!  S Parsons

And have shimano opened an investigation into where the funds have gone ???????
Why was andy neale not selected incredible decision. We all know that wales are better than that perforemance. Wales need a top class manager that listens to the younger anglers.  G Sherward

Eric Humpries has lost the plot In fact he never had it in the first place  it was a below par performance,time for a change may be David Evans

I agree mate. But who would take Eric's job if/when he stands down?  Dave Harrell

 Eric Humpries was totally clueless when it came time to come up with different. Geoff Evans

Hi Clive ,
Shocking performance, and like you say it’s high time someone like your self with an excellent track record took over as Wales manager ,how on earth are they ever goanna get sponsorship with performances like that ,as you well know there are upcoming lads in the south Wales area who’d have held their own against England on those sort of venues no problem
Make it happen Clive!!!
All the best Alan Goodridge (Swansea)


Blast from the past
I was emailed this news clip from a few years ago, Nice to look back http://www.thefreelibrary.com/JUST+BRING+ON+THE+BRANSON.-a087901695

Having to regroup the Cardiff Nomads have started a new youth policy and after the first team match on the Gloucester Canal fishing the Sensas Challenge the team came last. And three members resigned. Tough business match fishing.

The End of Cardiff Nomads
I believe I may have fished my last match for Cardiff Nomads. Sadly due to circumstances over the club funds and a combination  of no new blood of anglers coming into the club.  The Bristol Avon was a fitting tribute to where it all started over 45 years ago for me and a few steadfast anglers (See Cardiff Nomads Website) Catching 7lb 7oz of roach on the waggler just saw me finish just outside the Section and main money list.  Our Club Cardiff Nomads finished last and I don't expect anyone to turn up at last South West Super League. (Watch this space for future news.)

I wrote these for you as you seem to be leaving out the best bits!!!!!!!!!!!! Shuane Parsons
Huntspill Disaster
My woes continue and i now think i am getting senile or have Alzheimer’s.I was that excited about fishing the spill that i woke up an hour early and that was as good as it got! Got to my travel partner Shaunes house and had  my trolley, just no
handles, bars etc, got down the road when i made him stop to check i had put my bait in. Then got to the Huntspill where i had a cracking draw but a long walk without a trolley. I took out everything i thought i would not need, to cut down on the weight. Got to my peg to find that i had left my feeder reels in the van, big error as 28kgs won the section
three pegs away, I had less than 5lb of roach on the waggler and four skimmers on the feeder using a closed faced reel!!
Canal Disaster
Having a fishing break doesn’t help when fishing a new venue. My hook length broke, i think the hook length where as old as me!!!!!!! when playing fish on four occasions during my team match at the K & A canal near Marlbourgh, costing me a probable section win with only 4lb 60z winning the section. Needless to say i was last in the section with a whopping 10oz, still that was not the lowest in our team, that was 8oz!! Our reconstructed Cardiff Nomad Team also came last, a bit of a canal disaster lets hope we can get it together next time on the Huntspill.
Canal Bashing
It’s been a while since I fished the canals so taking the journey to Marlbourgh to fish the Kennet & Avon canal was daunting especially after an extended break, I was given a complete and utter battering by the local anglers. I did not take my platform and had to sit on the towpath all on my own and felt like a right pratt! Not used to Boats, walkers, cyclist and the strong flow and ebb of the canal I just managed a couple of pound of roach. While both sides of me caught 12lb and 14lb of skimmers respectively, using worm caster and red maggot fishing the long pole against the far bank was the order of the day. Lesson learnt for the start of the West Country Summer league that begins at the amazing canal with lots of silver fish to be caught, watch next week results here.

Quick Up-Date

"Robin Darker tendered his resignation this week in advance of his disciplinary hearing. This was accepted by the ADB Angling Development  Board."

Well we can’t believe what has happened!! In his summing up the Judge
said he has never come across this type of case and that there is no
precedence for sentencing this case. And in view of the angling press
wrong reporting (Angling Times) he decided to give Mr Darker 9 months
custodial sentence suspended with a 24month condition plus 240 communal
service. It’s a Joke !! He did say however that if the prosecution
solicitor had opted for theft and found guilty then he would have had a
jail sentence. Still he is has to go the board of the Angling Trust
next week. Probably another cover up and will keep his job. I was also
warned by Gary Swain our acting club secretary not to publish any further
comments on my website, that it might jeopardise any compensation proceedings.
MUST BE JOKING!! Watch this space  

Reply from Darker

The comments you have been placing both on your website and the information you supplied to the angling press has been nothing more than lies.
You and others within the nomads accused me of losing Hendra lake because of outstanding monies to the Council, failure to submit a bid for the lake, failure to turn up at a meeting etc. Well surprising the prosecutions own witness confirmed that
1. The rent was up to date.
2. A tender for the lease was submitted.
3. I did attend the meeting regarding the lease renewal
4. The reason we lost the lake was because of a higher bid was submitted by Peterstone Fishery
You also stated in court that i disappeared out of the country inn 2006 again you lied because i was still fishing with the Nomads in 2008. In addition it was also confirmed by other Nomads giving evidence that i handed over money for the Porth competition in May 2008.
(*Footnote)Must have been in self denial the court found him guilty)

You also mentioned in court about the ebay. Well i am afraid you no the truth about that Clive you was selling or promoting goods on the website copied from my ebay and you did not hold any stock. The agreement was that if you sold any items on ebay from my stocks i would post them out for you and that you would re imberse me for the stock and the postage. Well Clive you never paid me a penny hence the reason for me stopping supplying goods. Despite e-mails and calls you never paid the money oh and of course i have retained copies of all ebay transactions you made and details of the customers also copies of emails to you regarding money outstanding. And a copy of an email confirming that i was no longer going to continue to supply you. (This information has now been forwarded on to my solicitor)
(*Footnote Darker never supplied my customers on eBay nearly loosing my ebay account in the process)
You have also stated in an email to the ADB that i have disappeared with over £20,000 of the Cardiff Nomads money again nothing but lies. You even published this on your website this comment.
Have you ever even bothered to sit down and work things out as to where you lot have spent the money such as
Xmas matches from Dec 1999 up to Dec 2007 (£150 per year for cash prize fund plus additional prizes average £150 per year)
Cardiff City Council rent from 1999 - 2005 Ask the council or Gary Swaine as to how much was paid?
Halkon Hunt Clothing You no how much was paid for clothing
Welsh national Team Entry fees
WFCA affiliation
Work parties on the lake
Insurance for lake
Team entry Fees for Shakespear winter league for 2007,2006, 2005. (You took part in these competitions) you didnt pay for the team entry fees but you did pay your pools on each weekend that you attended.
The money paid to Paul Thatcher for rubbish clearing on the lake
£300 paid to Ian Collins for locking the gate at hendre
Printing of day tickets
Porth Competition since 1999 - 2008 bearing in mind the 1st year the amount paid out was i believe  £750 plus cheques then there on it was £1000 per year upto 2007 and then in 2008 £1200 was paid.
Groundbait over and above your free allowance
I think you should just work out the figures yourself the evidence is there or are you suggesting that during 1999 - 2008 the club didnt spend anything and also bear in mind the club only generated income from 1999 - 2005 and also bear in mind the lake was shut for some periods. Also had you bothered checking your facts Stephen Southall was the person doing the banking of income from the lake.
You also stated that i appeared in court with my ex wife again lies
The story you had placed within the angling times and anglers mail was tottally full of lies and incorrect facts hense the reason a legal letter was sent to the press confirming what i was actually charged with and to confirm each point of your story. The article that appeared within the Angling Times was submitted in court to the Judge who made comment and i am sure you will have been informed by Garry Swaine as to what was said.
It is clear from the articles and stories you have been writing and publishing false or incorrect information and that you have cuased significant problems and hence the reason after taking legal advice i have decided to take this matter further and pursue legal action against you and others within the Nomads. A liable case will cost in excess of £20,000 and no doubt when you engage your solicitor you will be informed of the cost and what is involved and the fact that no legal aid is available.
You will no doubt be hearing from my legal team shortly and as you say on your web site "watch this space"!

What can I say except I believe Mr Darker has a problem of self denial, fantasy and delusion? How on earth can someone who told the fishing club at a meeting over eight years ago that he had Parkinson disease just to cover up his shaking when confronted with club funds and the whereabouts of where he transferred the bank account too. And what about the Welsh Federation of Anglers Funds and the National Lottery Grant: to the tune of £235.000. Telling every one that he was robbed by gypsies at his home of all the records and information concerned, and with only 50p left in the kitty of the WFCA treasury! I rest my case!! Just to remind everyone; He Was Found Guilty At Cardiff Crown Court in front of a Judge and Jury


Message from my old mate Dave Harrel
Hi Clive
What are you up to these days?
I've quit my job at DHP for personal reasons on principle issues, am now looking for new opportunities.
Hope you are well mate.
My Reply
Hi Dave Sorry to hear that. You could try Angling Trust I heard that a certain Robin Darker will be leaving his post this friday when he is up in front of the judge. He was the Senior Coaching officer there. Fishtec I belive could use you too. Mat Hayes out of fashion!
Im selling roof-coating I could offer you a job commision only.

Robin Darker former treasurer of Cardiff Nomads and The Welsh Federation of Anglers Has finally come to his tacky end after 3 years of trickery and putting of the inevitable. Found Guilty by a jury of 12 at Cardiff Crown Court of false accountancy to the tune of £16,000 which was probably a lot more. He is now on bail for court and police reports hopefully they may uncover the missing £236.000 given to him for the development of the Welsh anglers in 2006. It is the belief of angling-news that he had more than one accomplice in this fraud and hopefully heads will roll including all the administrators who had a lavish life style while in office.


Clive Going Barmy
I thought I cornered the market for fishing hypnosis, I was wrong! Clive Roberts (Cardiff Nomads) recons he hypnotizes the F1 Carp down at Cefn Mably Cardiff.  Looking at the fish in its eyes he calms down the fish so that they don’t wriggle in the landing net and he can pick them up place them into the keepnet without the fish jumping out of his hand. However Clive it is suggested that he is seeing an alternative  therapist to sort out his issues.  

Hi Clive,
I hope you are well, I just wanted to send a quick note to say I enjoy reading your newsletter very much, however I just wanted to set the record straight with the story regarding Robin Darker working for the Angling Trust, he is actually a coaching development manager working for the Angling Development Board, a sister company of the Angling Trust, but nevertheless a completely different company. I hope you can appreciate that I cannot comment on him or the situation.
Please keep up the good work. <> 
If you require any further information, Please feel free to contact me.  <>Many Thanks, <>Selina Miller,<>Administration Assistant, Angling Trust, Strelley Hall, Nottingham, NG8 6PE.0115 9061 302

The net is closing on the lost Sport Council Funds. Watch this space


Cardiff Nomads secretary Shaune Parsons wrote to Dave Harrell of Match Angling Magazine asking for advise over the River Wye Team Championships
He wrote
Any chance you can give me a call about the Wye team champs yesterday, basically our second team won the match but have not been paid or
recognised as the winners.We had two teams , out normal winter league team of Shaune Parsons (me) Clive Branson Larry Salter Alan Davies
Richard Candy Captain Martin Challenger Although as I told them I am fed up propping them up each week!!!! We ended up one short as Alan Davies
who lives in the middle of Wales could not get his car out due to the weather. We paid Alan’s pools or him so we could draw his peg and get rid of the
worst one so we left out the Enye section. All of the Team above blanked except me as I had two grayling for 2lb but apparently i fished the wrong
peg!!!!!! The pegging was not clever. We then had another team which was made up from Clive Robert Ron Gibbs Clive Fletcher Craig Fletcher Luke
Richards Captain Some of these guys travelled along way, ie Yeovil, Frome, Worcester and Cardiff etc. Clive Roberts won the match, but they tried
to say that he was in the other team which is rubbish as Candy was in the same section and you cannot have two people from the same team in the
same section!!!!!!!!!! The second Team had One section win, a second and two fourths which on the day was top. They even queried the fact that
we had two C Fletchers despite them having different first names!!!!!!!! Basically they have stitched up the second team, they are saying that we
have tried to cheat etc, This is absolute rubbish and basically our second team have been cheated out of the Winners position, the Title and less
 importantly the Money. The match was very poorly run, there was no record of the draw numbers in each envelope so that queries could be sorted
quickly, the draw numbers did not follow ie i was on E2 but that did not correspond with peg 2 in the other sections etc.
I did not go back to the draw but as Secretary of the club i am furious, when the problem was reported the answer Pete Golding gave was that there
was nothing they could do about it!!!! They got it wrong, they messed up and therefore should either collect the money that they incorrectly paid
out or simply pay the WINNING TEAM the money they are owed. I am also furious that there is a suggestion of Cardiff Nomads trying to cheat and
I will legal action for deformation against anyone who suggest such and my mate is a solicitor, i understand that Tony Bert has already suggested
that and i also believe his was the reported winning team!!!!!! They got it wrong, they need to put it right, this is a prestigious match that is now to
be reported as a sham!!!! Funny how there teams came first and second.

Dave Harrell wrote;
Hi Shaune,
What do you expect me to do? I wasn’t there and the match was nothing to do with me so the only person who can really listen to you and
answer you is Pete Golding. I’ve always found him to be okay and he runs the festival well so I don’t see why there should have been a
problem in the first place and even less so if everything is explained properly to him.
Call him on 01432 357354 or 07831 641369. Regards Dave

Shaune wrote;
Cheers Dave
Was only after some advice really, I think at the end of the day you are right it should have been sorted yesterday but seems like Candy has done
his normal “lets confuse everyone” trick. Not sure why he even got involved as Luke was the team captain.
I feel sorry for the guys as they did win
and they were a scratch team put together as a few members like Clive Roberts and Luke wanted to fish. They have now not been recognised as
the Wye Team Champs and lost out on £500.
  If and when this gets sorted we are hoping that the press will also recognise this.
Then came this email from Tony Birt
Hi Shaune
Before you start using my name get your facts right or you may find my friend a solicitor on your case Firstly I had nothing to do with running this match not even to draw a peg secondly I don't know where my name got dragged into calling nomads cheats I was never involved in an conversation involving any of the results and thirdly be very careful about the allegation of THEIR teams won my team came second I don't even know who won it.You are upset you want to be in my office at the moment well no perhaps you wouldn't I assume I will have an apology from you very shortly I suggest before you spout your mouth off you get all the facts or perhaps as sec of the club you should have been there for the results


This weekend 28th Oct saw the River Wye Team Championships 2010 fished at the Belmont section of Hereford. Our club Cardiff
Nomads entered two teams and as we are previous winners of this prestigious event we had interest from club members to
enter. Our first team consisted of our main winter league team while the second team was made up from club members and
their fishing buddy’s. That helped make up the second team, of which travel from far away places such as Yeovil, Nottingham
and Worcester. Our A team blew out on a bitter cold day with 5 out of six blanking, however our second B team had success with
 a section winner (and overall individual winner Clive Roberts) a 2
nd and two 4th places giving an over all winning point margin over
all other teams. When the winning team was announced at the presentation it was with sad regret that the organizer Mr Peter           Golding from Hereford AA got his sums wrong and announced his two teams becoming winners and runners up and our B team was
 in 4th place. After a protesting to the organizers about this wrong doing Mr Peter Golding said it was too late and that the teams have been presented with the prize money.

I noticed on Facebook that Dean Barlow was remembering his Dad the famous angler and reporter Frank Barlow. Its 14 years this
month That Frank passed away. I remember his monthly fishing reports and followed his exploits from good to bad days, he was a fun
loving angler and very good on his day. He always looked at the fun and good in people and took the micky out of them, a great
character and I would love to emulate his fishing stories, I suppose that why I set up my page called snyde rumours and remarks

Hi Clive
There is something very fishy (excuse the pun) about the Federation of Welsh Course Anglers Ltd, I have checked with records at companies house
and the company is now dissolved but from what I could see there was never any large amounts going into it from any funding sources?

I do not have the resources to look into this further but from what i understand there where large sums involved somewhere but not sure of the sources? Carmarthen Council, Lottery Funding, sports council? Freedom of information act may help get some answers?
It's all a dark secret and it is just as though no one wants it dragged up. (Name and address supplied)
Refer to old article
What happened to the missing million's?
This question has been asked by many anglers ever since the WFCA secured a National Lottery funding of approx 4.6 million.
Lanelli near Swansea South Wales. Was the venue for Britain's multi million pound Centre of Excellence. Plans were made for a
complex of lakes including Sand Water Park so that anglers from all over Wales could enjoy. Could any one with the answer’s
please let us know!!!
Email clivesangling@cardiffcity.net if you have any comments to make

Following Mr Robin Darker
For those who know that the former Treasurer and Secretary to Cardiff Nomads  Mr Robin Darker who Allegedly run off with the club funds is
due in court on the 16th August 2010. To answer the charges of false accountancy.  His wife is being charged also for three accounts of theft from
club funds.


Following the court hearing on 16th August Mrs Darker admits and is found guilty of 3 accounts of stealing Cardiff Nomads Club Funds to
the tune of £300 She was bound over on conditional release for 12 months Paying Court fees and expenses.

On the same court hearing Mr Robin Darker has pleaded not guilty and has been released on unconditional bail and is to appear at Cardiff
 Crown Court on the 27th September 2010 when the case will be committed to be dealt at the Crown Court.


Just picked up this old request

By Alan Solomon

I was the Manager of the 1984 Welsh World Championship squad. We went to Switzerland and had a great time. Twenty four years later I live in
Newark, Notts. I attached a photo of my squad. I am third from the right. Where are they all today? What are they doing? Do any of your readers
recognise any of us? It would be very interesting to find out.

Left to right - John Phillips. Nick Lones - Richard Bainton - Clive Branson - Neil Dibble - Allan Soloman - Phil Davies - Clive Roberts

(John Phillips stopped fishing after this event does some game fishing, Nicky Jones Fishes local matches only at Newport Gwent, Richard Bainton
stopped working and fishing after he had cancer in the mouth, now he goes shooting instead, Clive Branson Thats me still going strong, Neil Dibble
stopped fishing shortly after this event big into other sports. Allan Soloman School teacher now in Newark Notts, Phil Davies fishes now and again
in North Wales. Clive Roberts stopped fishing due to heart problems.

Cried Wolf
It is official Clive Roberts is really ill this time!! After going through a 4 hour operation to fit a pace maker on his heart Clive is now making a good
recovery. He was seen this week with his walking Stick along the red light district of Taff embankment adjacent to the river Taff Cardiff..
Just for a laugh
Just recently before the draw at the Warwickshire Avon Eversham the Famous News reporter and Match Angler Dave Harrel asked my how I got
on the day before. “I said I found a new secret method” He said “And what is it?” I said “I cant tell you its, Its a secret”  After looking at my result
of 4oz We where both in stitches laughing.

Clive Roberts Not Very Well
Those who know Clive Roberts (Cardiff Nomads) will tell you he has a wild imagination and will make a mountain out of a mole hill
as well as being a Walter Mitty. Has informed everyone that He is Dying and that he could go at anytime. Afraid of going to sleep in
case he doesn’t wake up he is making the most of it, he is actually buying a pole after using his old one for over twenty years, he has
made a pledge that he is seeing his lady of the night three times a week instead of twice and he is coming off his healthy life style. If he
does depart up into the great fishing lake in the sky soon, the boys are going to have a head stone inscribed
“I Told you I was ill and telling the Truth This Time.”   

Clive Branson Not Qualified Enough?
Just recently I applied for a fishing Sales advisor with a company called fishtec. Having been made unemployed recently from my Sales job,
 I saw an advertisement within the local Newspaper. “Fishing Sales Advisor Required” Having been granted an Interview I thought this job could
be a breeze for me and something at last I would enjoy. However after three weeks of waiting they responded with an email;

Oh’ well  perhaps they thought I was not qualified enough. Clive Branson

Real Reason for not getting the job perhaps; I would always endeavour to give my honest opinion to angling techniques and in particular to fishing
tackle products when ever asked. Because of this trait I would not sell or give my opinion on poor quality fishing tackle products  or I would NOT
 miss sell an angler to gain profit  for any fishing tackle company that may try to CON the unsuspected angling public. There are a lot of Mail Order
fishing Tackle companies out there that take advantage of  anglers and in particular beginners and novices, perhaps not realising the damaged that
can be done for this great sport of ours.  Therefore not getting this job may be a blessing. If you have any questions before you buy fishing tackle
on-line please email me first. I will endeavour to give my honest opinion before you buy.  clive@angling-news.co.uk


Mr Robin Darker (This feature has been taken off due to court proceedings’)

In my email box this week (Is this a wind up?)
trustlanrre figgitt wrote:
Hello Dear, am Mrs R.Rose in the respect of my son paul is 18yrs old we live in Australia he like to come to your lesson , so i will
like you to help me teach him very well because a little children need to learn some for their future so i will like you to get back to
me with charges for 10 lesson so i can know the charges for 2 months and i will like you know that i will make your payment through
a payable cheque thank you be kindly let me read back from you .name and adress with contact phone number.trustlanrre figgitt <robertfiggitt007333@yahoo.com>

Ian Heaps
Visiting Ian Heaps at his Holgan Lake fishing complex was a surprise. Seeing this fishing legend dawned on me that we are all
getting on. Reminiscing with Ian about World Championships gone by. Still talks a good fishing match. And what a memory he has.
I remember Ian having a great resilience to a skin full of beer. Balancing a knife and fork with his finger tips whist under the influence

Ian Heaps the Legend
Dave the editor from One of Dave Halls Fishing Empire has often taken the mick out of yours truly.
Now it may be pay back time. If any reader has information about the overgrown china man please send them to 

clivesangling@cardiffcity.net                       Harry the China Man

Learn Chinese with Dave Harrell  (Say out Load)

That not right…………………………...Sum ting wong
Are you harbouring a fugitive………...Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me ASAP……………………………..…..Kum Hia
Stupid Man……………………………………Dum Fuk
Small Horse……………………………….Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach………………....Wa Yu So Tan
You need a face lift………………………...Chin Tu Fat
I thought you are on a diet…………....Wai Yu Mu Chin
Its very dark in here……………………..….Wai Si Dim
Cleaning the automobile ………………...Wa Shing Kar
This is a tow away zone…………………....No Pah Kin
Staying out of sight………………………...Lei Ying Lo
Laughter Lines
There are two types of fisherman - those who fish for sport and those who fish for fish.  ~Author Unknown

Fishing is the sport of drowning worms.  ~Author Unknown
his planet is covered with sordid men who demand that he who spends time fishing shall show returns in fish.  ~
Leonidas Hubbard, Jr.

A bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work.  ~Author Unknown

May the holes in your net be no larger than the fish in it.  ~Irish Blessing

I fish better with a lit cigar; some people fish better with talent.  ~Nick Lyons, Bright Rivers, 1977

All the romance of trout fishing exists in the mind of the angler and is in no way shared by the fish.  ~Harold F. Blaisdell,
The Philosophical Fisherman
, 1969

There is certainly something in angling that tends to produce a serenity of the mind.  ~Washington Irving

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl.  ~Ernest Hemingway

The fishing was good; it was the catching that was bad.  ~A.K. Best

The gods do not deduct from man's allotted span the hours spent in fishing.  ~Babylonian Proverb

It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming.  ~John Steinbeck

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.  ~Author Unknown

Bragging may not bring happiness, but no man having caught a large fish goes home through an alley.  ~Author Unknown

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.  ~Henry David Thoreau

All fishermen are liars; it's an occupational disease with them like housemaid's knee or editor's ulcers.  ~Beatrice Cook, Till Fish Do Us Part, 1949

An angler is a man who spends rainy days sitting around on the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won't let him do it at home.  ~Author Unknown

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.  ~Doug Larson

We ask a simple question
And that is all we wish:
Are fishermen all liars?
Or do only liars fish?
~William Sherwood Fox, Silken Lines and Silver Hooks, 1954

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.  ~Dave Barry

There he stands, draped in more equipment than a telephone lineman, trying to outwit an organism with a brain no bigger than a breadcrumb, and getting
licked in the process.  ~Paul O'Neil, 1965

The best way to a fisherman's heart is through his fly.  ~Author Unknown

I love fishing.  You put that line in the water and you don't know what's on the other end.  Your imagination is under there.  ~Robert Altman

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him for the entire weekend.  ~Zenna Schaffer

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.  ~Steven Wright

The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope.  ~John Buchan

Fishing is a... discipline in the equality of men - for all men are equal before fish.  ~Herbert Hoover

Calling fishing a hobby is like calling brain surgery a job.  ~Paul Schullery

...of all the liars among mankind, the fisherman is the most trustworthy.  ~William Sherwood Fox, Silken Lines and Silver Hooks, 1954

..trout that doesn't think two jumps and several runs ahead of the average fisherman is mighty apt to get fried.  ~Beatrice Cook, Till Fish Do Us Part, 1949

Give a man a fish, and he can eat for a day.  But teach a man how to fish, and he'll be dead of mercury poisoning inside of three years.  ~Charles Haas

I am not against golf, since I cannot but suspect it keeps armies of the unworthy from discovering trout...  ~Paul O'Neil

Even if you've been fishing for three hours and haven't gotten anything except poison ivy and sunburn, you're still better off than the worm.  ~Author Unknown

Three-fourths of the Earth's surface is water, and one-fourth is land.  It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time
fishing as taking
 care of the lawn.  ~Chuck Clark

Fishing tournaments seem a little like playing tennis with living balls...  ~Jim Harrison, Just Before Dark, 1991

There's no taking trout with dry breeches.  ~Miguel de Cervantes

Reading about baseball is a lot more interesting than reading about chess, but you have to wonder:  Don't any of these guys ever go fishing?  ~Dave Shiflett,
quoted in Houston Chronicle, 29 April 1990

There is no greater fan of fly fishing than the worm.  ~Patrick F. McManus, Never Sniff a Gift Fish, 1979

People who fish for food, and sport be damned, are called pot-fishermen.  The more expert ones are called crack pot-fishermen. 
All other fishermen are called crackpot fishermen.  This is confusing.  ~Ed Zern, 1947

Enjoy thy stream, O harmless fish;
And when an angler for his dish,
Through gluttony's vile sin,
Attempts, the wretch, to pull thee out,
God give thee strength, O gentle trout,
To pull the rascal in!
~John Wolcot

Our tradition is that of the first man who sneaked away to the creek when the tribe did not really need fish.  ~Roderick Haig-Brown, about modern
fishing, A River Never Sleeps, 1946

Even eminent chartered accountants are known, in their capacity as fishermen, blissfully to ignore differences between seven and ten inches, half a
 pound and two
 pounds, three fish and a dozen fish.  ~William Sherwood Fox, Silken Lines and Silver Hooks, 1954

Fishing is much more than fish.  It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers.  ~Herbert Hoover

Good things come to those who bait.  ~Author Unknown

"Carpe Diem" does not mean "fish of the day."  ~Author Unknown

Gone fishin', be back at dark-thirty!  ~Author Unknown

You must lose a fly to catch a trout.  ~George Herbert

If you've got short, stubby fingers and wear reading glasses, any relaxation you would normally derive from fly fishing is completely eliminated when
 you try to tie on
a fly.  ~Jack Ohman, Fear of Fly Fishing, 1988

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.  ~Author Unknown

Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.  ~Author Unknown

My biggest worry is that my wife (when I'm dead) will sell my fishing gear for what I said I paid for it.  ~Koos Brandt

Scholars have long known that fishing eventually turns men into philosophers.  Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to buy decent tackle on a philosopher's
salary.  ~Patrick F. McManus

Bass fishermen watch Monday night football, drink beer, drive pickup trucks and prefer noisy women with big breasts.  Trout fishermen watch MacNeil-Lehrer,
drink white wine, drive foreign cars with passenger-side air bags and hardly think about women at all.  This last characteristic may have something to do with the
fact that trout fishermen spend most of the time immersed up to the thighs in ice-cold water.  ~Author Unknown

Men and fish are alike.  They both get into trouble when they open their mouths.  ~Author Unknown

There will be days when the fishing is better than one's most optimistic forecast, others when it is far worse.  Either is a gain over just staying
home.  ~Roderick Haig-Brown, Fisherman's Spring, 1951

How do you stop a fish from smelling?  Cut it's nose off

What is the fastest fish in the lake?  Go-carp.

What did the mummy sardine say to her children when they saw a submarine?  Don't worry, it's only a tin of people.
If fish lived on land, which country would they live in?

What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool?
Show me your mussels.

How do you kiss a pike?  Very carefully

What sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck.

What has big sharp teeth, a tail, scales, and a trunk?
A pike going on holiday.

Fly-fisherman's wife: "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend"
Fishing Break
Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place.
First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint
every room in the house next weekend."
Second guy: "That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him.
"You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex"
and she said, "Wear sun-block."

Hi Clive
Email from
SUSAN susanmeek2000@yahoo.com
I am Mrs Susan Jones, a widow to Late Sir, Donnie Jones, I am 69 years old, I am suffering from a long time cancer of the breast
and From all indications, my condition is really getting worst on daily basis and the cancer stage has gotten to a very severe stage
that has affected my ears and my legs swollen due to the sickness coupled with old age.
My late husband was killed during the Gulf war as he was a supplier of relief materials to the affected war areas and during the period
of our marriage we had no child, My late husband was very wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his wealth.
My doctor told me that I may not live much more longer and I am so scared about this revelation which prompted me to use the wealth i inherited
from my late husband as the only wife to contribute to any charity project in Africa, America, Europe or Asia .
I selected you among the people i prayed for this help and after my fervent prayers for this purpose my God revealed to me that you
can be trusted, I have a total sum of $6.000,000.00 Million US Dollars Deposited in the security bank and that is all i have and wish to
give it to you as i can no longer walk or hear well so that you can assist me in using it for the charity project, or motherless babies
homes of your choice.i will like you to take %30 from the fund for your family up-keeps as you may be busy in the setting of the
charity homes, i want you to know that God will guide and strenghten you during this period so be strong and work for the lord.
Please kindly talk to me through my private Email-address; (susanmeel@live.com)
May almighty God,Guide and bless you with your family, Amen!!
I am Yours sister,
Mrs. Susan Jones

Comment from Clive
If anyone is interested in replying to this email please feel free to do so.
Word of warning I get hundreds of these spam email everyday I believe they originate mostly from Nigeria
What happened to the missing million's?
This question has been asked by many anglers ever since the WFCA secured a National Lottery funding of approx 4.6 million.
Lanelli near Swansea South Wales. Was the venue for Britain's multi million pound Centre of Excellence. Plans were made for a
complex of lakes including Sand Water Park so that anglers from all over Wales could enjoy. Could any one with the answer’s
please let us know!!!
Email clivesangling@cardiffcity.net if you have any comments to make
Cat's a Surprise
Recently a surprise Birthday was held for Colin Cook the manager of Gary Evans Tackle Cardiff. Family and friends clubbed
together for a surprise holiday to go and fish The River Ebro Spain for the elusive big catfish. When asked before the surprise
“what do you think of catfish fishing?” Colin replied “”You wouldn't catch me fishing for those things it must be the most boring
fishing ever” (Words to that affect) To Colin’s disbelief he accepted the gift. After a couple of freezing cold days in Northern
Spain Colin eventually caught a catfish. On his return he said “He can’t wait to go again” I wonder if he is only being polite
Ollie & Hardy
For those who know Clive Roberts and Richard Candy (Cardiff Nomads) They are hailed as the fishing Ollie & Hardy.
After 20 years of travelling together Clive has announced that Richy is taking his luck away from him so he intends to travel alone.
That was over 3 months ago. Guess what? They are still travelling together. Funny pair!! 
Laughter Lines
How did the scientist invent flea spray? He started from scratch.
What do you need to know to be an auctioneer? Lots
Why did the archaeologists go bankrupt? Because his career was in ruins
Why did the doughnut maker retire? He was fed up with the hole busness
What happens if pigs fly? Bacon goes up
How did the owl feel when he had laryngitis? He didn’t give a hoot
What did the fish say when he ran into a
concrete wall? DAM!
A man went fishing one day.
He looked over the side of his boat and saw a snake with a frog in its mouth. feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from
the snake, and set the frog free. But then he felt sorry for the snake. He looked around the boat, but he had no food. All he had was a bottle of
whiskey. So he opened the bottle and gave the snake a few shots. The snake went off happy, the frog was happy, and the man was happy to have
performed such good deeds. He thought everything was great until about ten minutes passed and he heard something knock against the side
of the boat. With stunned disbelief, the fisherman looked down and saw the snake was back with two frogs!
Famous Quotes
"He's not the sharpest hook in the tackle box."
"There's a reason they call it fishing and not catching."
"Fishing not a matter of life and death - it's much more important than that!"
Even a bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work
I spend most of my life fishing, the rest I just waste."
Nothing grows faster than a fish from when it bites until it gets away.
The difference between fly fishers and worm dunkers is the quality of their excuses.